HIPSTER PARTY PLANNING DOT BIZ

It looks like you're throwing a party!

Would you like help?

HIPSTER PARTY PLANNING DOT BIZ

217.898.9262

Nate@
HipsterParty
Planning.biz

Ironically, the goal of the game was to save children.

PLAN *YOUR*
PARTY

An accurate depiction of my lovemaking technique.

"Because we mean business. About planning parties. For hipsters."
(Also, yes, we are in fact a real, legitimate service. Business cards and everything!)

Ski ski ski. Punch punch punch. Headbang headband headbang.

O is for Octomom, who definitely made a pornographic movie for some reason

F is for Fig, my favorite kind of Newton

K is for Karaoke, a thing we should get drunk and do together

H is for Heisenberg, but I can't be certain

S is for Sandra Bullock, who I wish would just go away
H is for Hermione, who definitely should have wound up with Harry, not Ron

T is for Tits, my least favorite name for my most favorite parts

So, you're PLANNING A PARTY, huh? Do you:

Have a VIRTUALLY LIMITLESS budget?

This is a crime. Don't do this.

If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, congratulations — you have a personality disorder!

But, more importantly, you are also the
ideal audience for an event hosted by
HIPSTER PARTY
PLANNING . BIZ
— San Francisco's most pleasingly obscure
party planning service!

Hate silly contrivances like "creative control" and "veto power"?

This took 3 damn hours to make, so you'd damn well better appreciate it.

Enjoy objects cLuMsiLY mAdE out of construction paper?

HOW DID THESE SCISSORS GET SO BIG THIS IS CRRRRAAAZYYY

HIPSTER PARTY PLANNING DOT BIZ specializes in esoteric and ironic THEME PARTIES. We assault your guests' senses with a complete clusterfuck of charmingly amateurish decorations and activities — sure to inspire good times, envy, and yes, probably
a little fear.

I am a manic overachiever whose arts + crafts skills never advanced beyond the 7th grade, and I will make sure you have the most insane, awesome, and bewildering party you've ever experienced.

You will start measuring time in terms of life before and AFTER your party. You will explode, fully-formed, into the blazing sun at the center of your social circle. You will get laid, probably, if that's what you're into.

No theme is too OBSCURE
No need is too BIZARRE
No budget is high enough

Note how I made his eyes bloodshot. I am an ARTIST.

This is the greatest thing I've ever made, by the way.

TOGETHER, we will transform your disposable income into an ironically good time — and a regular good time, too. Guaranteed.*

*OK, probably not guaranteed. The enjoyment of a party is pretty subjective. I mean, how's it my fault if your dumb dog died that day? I'm just saying.

O is for "O," the modernized Othello adaptation starring Mekhi Phifer

S is for Snorlax, a lazy Pokémon of great girth
H is for How Did I Think It Was A Good Idea To Write One Of These For Every Letter?

T is for Tony! Toni! Toné!, which was definitely a thing

O is for Oral Sex; I'm not sure why I'm bringing it up
H is Hardee's, a place I will never willingly go

F is for Fedora, a hat you should never be wearing
U is for "Umbrella", my 6th-most favorite Rihanna song

So many peeps come to this shit, I had to
hire this little motherfucker to keep track.

.•* UPDATED BY WITCHES *•.