HIPSTER PARTY PLANNING DOT BIZ

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HIPSTER PARTY PLANNING DOT BIZ

217.898.9262

Nate@
HipsterParty
Planning.biz

ABOUT

B is for Baio, Scott O is for Orthanc, tower of Saruman T is for "Tigerlily," an album by Natalie Merchant

"'Vocation' comes from the Latin 'vox,' or voice, meant to imply a calling from God."

— Chris Onstad, Achewood

I've been told this page is a little long, so here — let me mitigate the perceived chore of decoding language with pictures of dogs in costumes. Or, if you prefer, Katy Perry's rack.

Figure we'll split the difference to start.

Our illustrious founder.

E is for "Everwood," a mediocre WB drama

F is for Fanta, a fruit soda I'd just as soon not drink

I is for Ignorance, which we should try and avoid

T is for Testosterone, a thing that I lack

Hipster Party Planning Dot Biz is me, I guess. Nate Walsh. I'm a copywriter by trade — you may have seen this craigslist ad I did that very briefly made me INTERNET FAMOUS (i.e., the best kind of famous). Apparently, though, I decided that that whole gig was somehow not cushy enough, so I went ahead and started this thing instead.

Also, like this baby, I have no visible genitals.

Wahhh! Wahhh!

I don't WANNA write
banner ads and drink
at the office. I wanna
plan PARTIES.

A is for Aflac, which I have no idea about except for the duck

S is for Steel Guitar, my favorite kind of guitar

T is for Tiresias, phophetic Greek transsexual

O is for Oddjob, for people who cheat at "Goldeneye"

Back in 2008, I began throwing an annual 4th of July party that grew more insane with each passing year. In-home strippers, exploding blow-up dolls, Nicolas Cage street theater, amateur beauty pageants judged by terrible Austin Powers impersonators — these parties had everything, and the 4th quickly became my favorite time of the year. But it wasn't enough.

(OK, the strippers weren't actually my idea, but the incredibly bizarre playlist I made for them was — you haven't lived until you've seen your terrified Jewish friend get a lapdance to the "Home Improvement" theme song.)


It was like this, pretty much.

He's like, "What can I do? I'm a DOG."

"This demeans us both."

G is for Game Gear, precursor to the iPhone in terms of battery power

N is for NyQuil, which I feel would help me write these letter captions

I is for Isthmus, the most difficult word for people with lisps

Even though I do creative work for a living, for whatever reason, nothing fills me with the same sort of manic energy that putting a party together does. I dreamt of doing it for a living, but I figured, "Let's be realistic. Who the hell would ever want to pay me for the type of parties I throw, all weird and intense and kind of aMaTeuRiSh?" And that's when my friend Julie was like...

December 4, 2012. The day everything changed.

Scholars believe the Magna Carta began pretty much the exact same way.

I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me.

Not sure where mer-Avril came from, and Cat's actual neck ruffle
is way nicer, but yes, this is pretty much how I remember things going down that day. (P.S. Sorry, Art. Sorry. Sorry.)

H is for Hindenburg, almost as big of a disaster as this site

P is for Pride Rock, home of some fictional lions

T is Tanqueray, a gin I wish I had in my mouth right now

Question Mark is for Asking Questions, I'm pretty sure

Yes, HIPSTERS. Often maligned, but incredibly enamored with the quirky, the obscure, the ironic, the overdone. And, just as important, not too enamored with holding onto their disposable income. In short, the perfect target for my unique brand of jackassery! Here's a chart I made:

If you identified the Republican as Cyrus Beene from ABC's hit drama "Scandal," congratulations — your prize is in the mail!

I know which of these groups I'd rather party with.
(Kim Kardashian's rack is a distant second.)

N is for Niacin, official vitamin of Scientology!

D is for Dr. Drew, possibly the worst human

HIPSTER PARTY PLANNING DOT BIZ was born. And ever since, I've really tried making a go with the thing. Now, instead of my one yearly party, I throw parties all the time, every chance I get, to help hone my skills. And, every time I do, I hear nothing but good things:

Well, OK, I consider those to be good things. But the point is, I'm finally ready to pass my weird brain magic onto you.

This goes against God, nature, and science.

On the plus side, he'll be a good pick-up artist!

Ah, at last! The Snooki dog costume America has been clamoring for!

It won't be long before this exact creature gets made into a Syfy Original Movie. CRUSH-TACEAN: Reign of Terrier

W is for Waldo, who I wish would just stay fucking missing

E is for eMall.com, a pyramid scheme I once deliberately got involved with as a joke

B is for Brian Fitting, a guy I used to go to high school with; he enjoyed mock turtlenecks

R is for Razzles, which, let's be honest, suck both as candy AND gum

I is for Inez, who made the awesome playlist I am writing this to

N is for Nickelback, who we will not be making any jokes about on this site; fish in a barrel, people

M is for Mega Man, who I obliquely reference below

G is for Geoffrey, a name only acceptable for giraffes, not humans

I is for Illinois, my highly forgettable home state

See, I'm the 3rd generation of a notorious line of manic, ^{overachieving}, anal-retentive, PERFECTIONISTIC arts and crafts monsters.* (Hi, Mom! Hi, Grandma!)

Adobe, take note: My grandma invented Photoshop about 3 decades before you. If she didn't like her hair in a photo, she'd adjust it with Wite-Out and ballpoint pen. If a family member wasn't in a group photo, she'd literally cut and paste them into the shot using another picture (like I did here with Mr. Philip Collins).

My grandma is the fucking JAM, is my point.

Whenever any of us dig in on a project, we kind of lose it. We get crazy, we get controlling, we get obsessive. I know those sound like bad things, but then you see what we came up with using that madness, and you start to understand why it was all worth it.

I honestly believe that any one of the three of us, given enough hot glue and glitter, could achieve world peace.

* Plus I'm a Virgo, so I've got that added pile of crazy on top.

You've been very patient, so here's one more dog picture. The BEST one.

O is for Oxford Commas, which I will defend to the death

A is for Agincourt, site of a major battle in the Hundred Years' War

I have a lot of Thoughts about parties, and what makes for a good one, and you can read those here.

But, let me just close by saying that, this is what I love most and what I'm best at, and if you use my dumb ragtag little service, I am 100% certain I am going to blow your mind.

Why?

Because I can't not do it.

I literally have some sort of sickness.

Use it to your advantage.

I assume this classy font appeals to all of you with gold iPhones. You monsters.

Yeah, I'm sure this joke won't come back to haunt me at all.

Gracious, considerate, not one to boast / Is what we expect from The Consummate Host

The Heated Gluer.

The Man-Blower.

The Consummate Host.

The Hypnotiq is actually the more destructive fluid in this photo.

Yeah, that's right. I only own like two shirts.

The Catalyst.

The Destroyer of Worlds.

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